Shade Tree Greetings

Cover: A man needs only two tools in his workshop: WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. Inside: If it DOESN’T move and it should, USE THE WD-40. If it DOES move and it shouldn’t, USE THE DUCT TAPE. HAPPY BIRTHDAY...

Cover: AWE, SHUCKS Inside: That was so nice of you. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU Size: 5x7 inches

Cover: Best friends are the ones who know all about you. Inside: But like you anyway. Happy Birthday. Size: 5x7 inches

Cover: BIRTHDAY CAKE... Inside: THE ONLY FOOD YOU CAN BLOW ON AND SPIT ON AND EVERYBODY RUSHES TO GET A PIECE. Size: 5x7 inches

Cover: Born to be WILD... Inside: a LONG time ago! Happy Birthday. Size: 5x7 inches

Cover: Oh, I just can’t stand the thought of another birthday! Inside: (heavy sigh) I’m glad it’s yours. Size: 5x7 inches

Cover: (blank) Inside: Cheers to YOU! Size: 5x7 inches

Cover: Constance named her cat “Martini”. Inside: It was one less thing to remember. Happy Birthday. Size: 5x7 inches

Cover: DON’T WORRY ABOUT GETTING OLD... Inside: WORRY ABOUT THINKING OLD! HAPPY BIRTHDAY Size: 5x7 inches

Cover: Everybody loves a guy... Inside: with a cool car! Happy Birthday. Size: 5x7 inches

Cover: (blank) Inside: Oh,shit! Size: 5x7 inches

Cover: Forget about losing 20 pounds... Inside: How can we lose 20 years? Happy Birthday. Size: 5x7 inches

Cover: Fran made her own dress, stitched her own slipcover, and baked her own cake. Inside: I have a hunch she did her own hair, too. Happy Birthday! Size: 5x7 inches

Cover: Funny how we call ‘em the “good old days”. Inside: We weren’t that “GOOD” or that “OLD”. Happy Birthday to my good, old friend. Size: 5x7 inches

Cover: Don’t think for a second that girls today have more fun than we did. Inside: We just didn’t text it, tweet it, or e-mail it. We gossiped over it in person like real women. Size: 5x7 inches

Cover: GO AHEAD, LIGHT THE CANDLES! Inside: we’re ready! happy birthday. Size: 5x7 inches

Cover: SENILITY PRAYER GOD GRANT ME THE SENILITY Inside: TO FORGET THE PEOPLE I NEVER LIKED, THE GOOD FORTUNE TO RUN INTO THE ONES I DO LIKE, AND THE EYESIGHT TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE. Happy Birthday...

Cover: Having a good friend is like riding a bicycle... Inside: Once you get the hang of it, it lasts a lifetime. Happy Birthday.

Cover: He thought he was steering the boat... Inside: but it just went in circles giving him the illusion of control. Kinda like being married. Happy Anniversary. Size: 5x7 inches

Cover: Here’s to all the crap you’ve been through! Inside: Better days are ahead! Size: 5x7 inches